Tonight I made my first successful sugar free/gluten free/vegan muffins.

I have been trying to make something edible that is both sweet and within the limits of my diet for about 4 months and with the help of babycakes recipes by Erin McKenna I have succeeded!

Ingredients:

2 cups Bob's Red Mill All Purpose Gluten-Free Baking Flour

(but I used oat flour because I like oats)

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon xanthan gum

(though you don't necessarily need it. It just makes it stick better)

½ cup coconut oil

2/3 cup agave nectar

2/3 cup rice milk

(I used almond milk)

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1 teaspoon pure lemon extract

2/3 cup fresh blueberries

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Line a standard 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, xanthan gum and salt. Add the oil, agave nectar, rice milk, vanilla and lemon extract to the dry ingredients, and stir until the batter is smooth. Using a plastic spatula, gently fold in the blueberries just until they are evenly distributed throughout the batter.

Pour 1/3 cup batter into each prepared cup, almost filling it. Bake the muffins on the center rack for 22 minutes, rotating the tin 180 degrees after 15 minutes. The finished muffins will bounce back slightly when pressed, and a toothpick inserted in the center will come out clean.

Let the muffins stand in the tin for 15 minutes, then transfer them to a wire rack and cool completely. Store the muffins in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days.

They are really good!

I am awful at blogging consistently. I would say that I am going to try to get better but in all truth, I will probably retain about as much consistency as I have in the past. Anyway, I have been informed that I haven't blogged since February and am overdue.

This week I celebrated my birthday. I have a lot of mixed emotions about birthdays in general. I guess because I never feel quite different knowing that I'm a year older. This year is different. I am very glad to be leaving year 20. In a lot of ways, it was not a good one for me and I have yet to process everything that has happened with my health, the deaths I've experienced, and eruptions within my friendship relationships I wouldn't have predicted if you talked to me a year ago. I felt very exhausted and for a majority of 20 I was struggling to keep up with everything that was happening. This is not to say that this whole past year was awful, because it was not: it is merely to say that I will in no way miss being 20.

Out of these experiences, as often happens, I was able to make and keep some of the best friendships I've been blessed to experience. To you all, I would like to say thank you and that I predict you will be the best part of being 21.

Sarah, I think you may be the most loyal person I know. Thank you for being there every time I needed to laugh, act silly, vent, and have the types of conversations that really shape character.

Maria, thank you for being so considerate of my health. I have never had someone care for me after surgeries the way you did this year. It's the most humbly I've ever been served.

Jenni, I had never met anyone who understood me emotionally the way you do. To be understood on that level has been life changing for me. Thank you for being someone trustworthy that I can be vulnerable with when I need to most.

Ben, Ryan, and Conner, thank you for giving me a home when I didn't feel comfortable in my own.

Dan, thank you for being my friend even after seeing me at my worst and for being someone I'm not afraid will judge me.

Claire, thank you first for being someone I tell everything to. And second, for being absolutely nuts with me. Every time we would talk even if we started in the worst moods, we would end in fits of giggles that I miss now that you don't live in Waco.

Tonia, thank you for being consistent. Never at any point am I surprised by your kindness and joy since I have come to know your character. I have most loved being, as your mom puts it, the fizz to your coke.

Well, tomorrow/today since it's after midnight, is Friday. I made it through the week rather well. Thus far, I've turned in 2 essays, taken 3 quizzes, 1 major test, and turned in a painting. Tomorrow, thankfully, is my easy day. I am so glad for it. This weekend I need to do some major poetry reading and some really good research for another essay I have coming up.

Here are the good things that have happened this week:

1) I started a new painting that I really enjoy.

2) I learned that I like spaghetti squash which both fits with my diet and is cheap.

3) I had dinner with friends every night this week.

4) I used up the last of my groceries and get to go shopping tomorrow with recipe plans.

5) I FOUND OUT I GET TO GO TO EUROPE OVER SPRING BREAK!

6) I received letters from two great girls this week and from my dad.

7) Valentine's day was actually really fun!

8) I made an A on a Latin quiz. (This is a big accomplishment for me)

9) Tomorrow we get to start mentoring 1 on 1 at WAI.

10) I'm just still so glad my mom came to visit.

Well, thus far, I would call this new week successful. Today, I made it through all my classes and ended up having a great night. Isaac, Sarah, Conner, Jacob, Ben, Dan, Ryan, and myself all went out to eat for Valentine's Day at Olive Garden (my dinner was on Sarah. thanks friend!) and then Ben, Ryan, and Conner, surprised my roommates with me with a crafted arrangement of fruit and our own personalized cards. This was funny because my roommates' cards had pictures of their pets and mine had a tree. Which is great for me, because I really love trees. Plus, the tray that they brought the fruit on had rocks on it (which I like to collect).

On top of all this, I woke up to pink roses from Maria with a Valentine's day note. Sweet roommate? Yes.

I am very glad for the start of the new week for a lot of reasons. Tomorrow is Monday and once I get past it, I will have 2 quizzes down, 1 paper down and a much slower rest of the week (hopefully). Plus in my literature and media class, we get to watch Eat Pray Love, which I haven't seen yet. AND, then I get to go out to dinner with friends for Valentine's Day.

In addition, and probably the bigger reason, is because I have been down for no reason and I feel as though a fresh start will be good and that's what Monday will be.

Time with my mom today was great and very much needed. I was glad to hear that my sister did so well in her mock trial event and to see pictures from her birthday party this weekend. Plus, my mom got to see some of my paintings. Speaking of, I'm excited to start some new ones. I have a few sketches I want to get out; they're starting to keep me up at night so I need to prime my canvas and get to it. If they turn out well, I'll post some pictures. (Although I say I'll put pictures up a lot and it never seems to happen. I'll try to make it and exception to the norm)

All day today I had a looming desire to pack up my car and literally just drive away. I packed a bag at 730 this morning, got ready, put it in my car, and couldn't make myself do it. Which ended up being a good thing because today was a rather great day and I would have missed it. I think restlessness has to be a part of the human condition... or something along those lines, at least.

Tomorrow my mom is coming down which is really good because I have missed her and getting some quality time will be nice.

I have recently had to limit my diet to not include wheat, milk, meat, chocolate, caffeine, sugar, chocolate (this doesn't need to be listed separately except for the fact that i LOVE it), soy, and refined flours (there's a lot of weird stuff too like, honey and aspartame, but those are not really significant). I, at first, thought that this would be really hard and that people would get annoyed with me for not being able to eat without constantly asking, "hey what's in this?" but all of my friends have been especially great about it.

In particular, I eat with 3 other friends about once a week and I saw two of them looking up how make spaghetti squash today and I know the other one looked up what types of food I could eat before he made dinner last week. It's such a good feeling to know that you have friends who are as unselfish as these 3. I really can't even describe how special it made me feel to know that they cared that much. It was definitely unexpected and is still appreciated.

So, if any of you are reading this, thanks! You made my week immensely better.

Seeing as how it's been forever since I posted last and my real motivation for this post is class credit, I think I'm a bad blogger. But that's ok. Maybe I'll get back into it.

I was going to originally write about how I've been reading back through Genesis but instead I think I'm finding myself in a more somber mood--most likely due to the fact that I'm listening to the Weepies and was told last week I was no longer allowed coffee by my doctor.

My friend, Tonia, and I were driving home to Dallas this weekend (both of us to see our sisters) and we got to talking about CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien and both men's writing. Tonia started telling me about a book by Lewis she was reading, a part of his fantasy series I didn't even know he'd written, called-- well now I don't remember the name of it but I'm going to borrow it so I'll edit this and put the name in it. Anyway, she was telling me that I would LOVE this book because the overarching theme examines harmony between creatures. The premise is that people have discovered a planet where everything lives in a peaceful coexistence with one another and the people were trying to explain our world to them and the concept of strife is incomprehensible.

This is one of like 3 times that someone has commented that I would enjoy this or that because of all the harmony in it--

Which is normal because I do like harmony and I've only recently realized how much. When I first took the strength finder's test for Baylor it told me harmony was my top strength and my second strength was connectedness. I didn't even realize that either of those were helpful. I wanted something like responsible or innovative. I've become more ok with them since.

--but it got me thinking about why I like the idea in the first place. The obvious answer is that EVERYONE likes this but I seem to bend over backwards to foster it at times. After a night of pondering the subject I decided it's because it's one of the core values taken from the garden of eden and it's like my spirit longs for it or something which makes sense if that's how we were all created to live.

Anyway, this post was originally about something other than myself but I'm not sure where I was going now that I'm here.

So, with that, expect more posts soon.

Have a happy Monday!

One more thing. I was journaling about the chaos that has encompassed my year thus far--all of it, the good and the bad-- and I think it's only right to write about how great it's been to have the apartment.

It's allowed me to get to know my new roommate Maria better. I'm really thankful for her and the way we've gotten so close so fast. I'm still not over the "Woo! I live with Maria" phase of moving in and it's been absolutely wonderful. Plus--and this is when you know you have a good roommate--we shop the same way at the grocery store. True roommie love? Yes.

I'm bad at blogging. I forget to do it. A lot.

Recently I've been really into music which itunes classifies as "easy listening". I find it incredibly soothing and open.

Here's a playlist I've made for myself.

Release- Helen Jane Long

(my favorite right now)

Your Hand In Mine- Explosions in the Sky

Requiem For A Tower- Escala

Sex On The Docks- David Byrne

3055- Olafur Arnalds

(minute 2 particularly but the whole thing is beautiful)

Glimpse- The Durutti Column

Hoppipolla- The Vitamin String Quartet

Leaving Paris- Craig Armstrong

Lux Aeterna- Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet

The Winner Is- Danna/Devotchka

Thursday- Takenobu

It finally rained today and broke the heat for a little while.

It felt so good that my friend and I went outside just to be in it and enjoy the way the wind felt for a while.

What keeps you going isn't some fine destination but just the road you're on, and the fact that you know how to drive

-Barbara Kingsolver

I've been thinking about this upcoming year a lot--what I want to get out of it and what I want to pour into it--and I keep coming up blank. I can't decide if it's because I don't feel very settled with myself right now or because I genuinely just have no clue what to expect. Barbara helped me out a little and I think for a while I'm going to just breathe and not try to figure things out. Instead I'm really trying to be satisfied with just the fact that I'm in such an interesting part of my life and with the opportunity to enjoy it.

I get to see my girlfriends tomorrow!

I've missed them since leaving for Africa but hopefully we'll all get to hang out and catch up. I love it! There's something really good about sitting down with people you've known forever and who really know you well and just being that really makes me happy.

Movie with Amy tonight!

Already a good start to the weekend.

Restless.

I keep waking up at 7:15. If I had something to do at 7:15 or even at 8, I would be okay with that. But I don't have anything most days until at least 9:30 (usually cycle class which I don't need to get ready for) and would rather sleep.

Maybe this will make all my 8 a.m. classes more bearable?

I think I'm overdo on a post and a lot has happened since I last updated.

To start, I made it home from Africa a few days ago. My time in Kenya was fantastic and I'm already trying to think of how and when I'm going to make it back there. I think if I could describe the people I met there in one word it would be colorful: they had an overwhelming sense of joy and contentment, they were beautiful, they were welcoming. I wish I could process my time there in a more coherent way but I think I'm still working through it myself. I learned a lot; it was surprising to me to see how much reflection the trip inspired and there are some definite ideas I need to apply to my life that I learned there. Should be challenging but rewarding too.

We became such good friends this trip. I'm really pumped to see Jenni again when school starts!

This is Habram (one of my favorite Pokot boys) with some of the other kids in him village.

Us again.

This is Grace. She was one of the women in the slums who was kind enough to let us into her home. See what I mean about the beautiful thing??

My camera died in Pokot so I'm relying on fb for a lot of pictures but these were some of the ones I took.

In other news, I'm giddy with the idea of getting to live with Selena and Maria. For one, I missed them while I was in Kenya and the whole not being able to talk to them thing was weird. Not to mention that I just love them both and am ready for us to all be there and have a house!

There's actually a dwindling amount of time before I do move back to school. I have so many people to catch up with.

I have this continued obsession of going back through my journals to see what I was doing/thinking exactly 1 year ago from whatever day it is. Today's entry (a year ago) was a series of emails sent back and forth between my friend Antonia and me. According to her, this marks our "friendaversary" because it was the first time we had a deep conversation one on one. It's weird to me to think that we've only really been really good friends for about a year--maybe a little more, but still. Anyway, what made me laugh about it is that I had emailed Tonia a part of my journal from the previous week.. and I write a TON in those things. I was so surprised she even got through all of it I think I knew on the spot that the friendship was destined for greatness.

In other news, I believe that this is the beginning to a very long end of the week. For all the time I spent being bored at the beginning of summer--you know, before real life started to hit and when all I wanted to do was find some sort of an activity to entertain me?--I'm going to miss the pace just a bit. To combat the frenetic attitude I'm developing, I'm making a playlist based off Jaymay's song "Gray or Blue." If you haven't heard of her, check her out!

My cousin gets married today!! Her and her fiance (soon to be husband) have been together for the last 7 years.

Congratulations to you both! I can't wait to see where life takes you!

(pictures from the wedding to come soon!)

Well, I am once again home from a weekend in Waco and, once again, it was great! Not only did the weekend come at an ideal time as a get away for me, but it was also full of friends! Here's about how my time went down:

1. Get to Waco

2. Get the keys to my apartment!

(I cannot wait to move everything in and start decorating!)

3. Head over to see Landon and chill there until we decided to make dinner.

4. Dinner and dessert!

(Landon truly does make the best chocolate cake and all of us sitting around and eating it right out of the pan was probably my favorite part of the trip)

5. Kelly's! with Maggie, Tonia, and Jenni

6. Laughing way too late into the night

(Fitting 3 of us into the full sized bead is a huge contender for favorite part too)

7. Getting up way too early (4:35) to work the garage sale

(Which was actually a big success)

8. Brunch at CafeCap

9. Bananagrams at Common Grounds

10. Making new friends with some Orientation Students

11. FROYO

12. Heading home!!

Times like this make me really excited for this coming year even despite the fact that I'll have school work to do.

2 things:

1) I started my painting today. I think there's something about art that opens my soul up a little more. I was driving with my sister while taking a break and we listened to some Crowder and I found myself content listening to the words and the melody. I haven't been able to let myself be completely absorbed in a moment in a long time. It was fantastic. On that note, tomorrow is craft day! The goals are to make a tree like this one but a little model one on a cork boar... and then maybe implement it in 4 days!!

2) I was looking through my diary last night and I realized that I had been writing in it for 1 year today (The one on the mac. I have 4 different ones.. What? You never know when you may need to jot something down). It's entirely too long but I had the awesome idea of reading back through all of my posts last night to see how the year had gone. It was funny and refreshing to see how a lot of the things that I was stressed about ended up not being a big deal at all. And, it was interesting to see how unexpected life really is. In all, I would advocate journaling to just about everyone.

Then again, I'm a huge fan of writing in general. Words to me, feel something like this. But seriously. I am this girl. I've kept all my letters since high school :)

Mmmm... yay words!

I just got home from a great long weekend in Waco! I had a lot of fun getting to see a lot of the people I've missed since coming home and it has made me all the more anxious to move into my apartment! Seriously. I was jazzed before but chilling with Maria these past few days has me more excited than ever.

So, in the next few days, I'm hoping to channel that energy into some sort of a painting to go with the one that's in an earlier post. As it turns out, the colors go pretty well with my bed spread so I'll get to take both paintings with me when we move in on Monday. Less than a week!!

Hopefully, I'll have a picture of this painting soon!